I'm currently working on a piece I started almost 4 years ago. I know, it's crazy that it's taken me this long to get it done. And actually, I haven't gotten very far. Each time I rewrite it I get to about chapter 4 before setting it aside because all I can write is crap.
I hate those days. The days when all I write is crap, and I end up erasing most of it the next day.
This project I've written so many times, from so many different perspectives, that I thought it would be cake to get past the dreaded Chapter 4. Well, I decided to combine a few of the previous versions and add a few elements and characters to the story. They had always been there, just later in. How did I know? I have the whole book outlined, chapter by chapter. Yes, I am so prepared with this one. That's what 4 years can do to you.
So tonight I reached a crossroads. Not only did I pass by Chapter 4 yesterday, but I obliterated it! I flew through 3 more chapters! I was on a roll. And then the inevitable happened. I knew it had to happen from the moment I started writing this version. I had to write a character out. We had a pretty good relationship, the character and I did. It was heartbreaking to write the last chapter. Now, I'm stuck. I want him back. I want to take it all back, erase those pages, and change the story so that he can stay. Sadly, that isn't how this story is going to work. It would change the whole plot, and I've rewritten it enough times to know that this is the best plot I've had in 4 years. I'm not going to change it on a whim. Or out of guilt. Or because I'm sad tonight.
But what if changing the plot is the right thing to do?
Yeah, I thought about that one. See, the problem is that I've already written bits and pieces of other stories that intertwine with this one. There will be no changing of the plot. It's too late. What's done is done.
So, I dedicate this post to the memory of Daniel Masters, may you love him as much as I did if this book ever gets published and you decide to read it.